That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt. – John Green

I’ve been MIA for the past 2 months hiding in my “Kayla Hole”, desperately trying to understand all the pain that seems to consume the world. I ask myself if those in decades past experienced the excruciating pain we all endure today. If so, how in the world did mankind survive this long? I think we have become a society based on lies, fear, and completely false personas with a kick of narcissism to keep the cycle flowing and repeating itself. Society has become so transfixed solely on their selves. All anyone seems to care about is their perception, especially when it comes to social media. Society has become a complete facade and it feels like as soon as people walk through their front door at the end of the day, along with taking off their jacket and shoes, they’re also taking off a mask that hid every single part of who they truly are at their core.

Why, as a society, do we place so much importance on what others think of us? We are so obsessed with appearing to be something we aren’t, that we don’t care who we destroy along the way. Take me and my most recent relationship, for example: He was a pathological liar and a master manipulator but it took me months to realize who he truly was because he was so good at wearing his mask that even he didn’t know who he was the vast majority of the time. He was so concerned (and still is) about what society thought of him that his entire world revolved around that. Unfortunately, his life of lies caused irreparable damage to my soul and confidence, which i’m now sure was his plan all along. I feel pity for weak people, such as my ex-boyfriend, who are so consumed with their perception and social rankings that even they don’t know who they genuinely are at their core. I feel sorry for those who must cause other people pain in order to make themselves feel something other than the utter hatred they must harbor for themselves.

This then brings about another issue: If we know people are wearing masks, then why do we continue to believe them even after we’ve caught them constantly lying or manipulating or otherwise? Why do we continue to allow them to cause us pain, even after we have realized that their reality is nothing more than a mere daydream? Because we are a society hell bent on being frauds. Being fake exerts significantly more energy than if you’d just give in and be who you are at your core. People hide who they are because they’re terrified of judgement because with judgement comes pain and with pain comes the harsh reality that they just aren’t as special as they’ve led themselves to believe their entire lives. I look back on the pain I endured this past year and I wouldn’t change a thing. It taught me who I am when faced with one of the vilest humans in the world. It taught me what my true weaknesses were and where my strengths had been hiding. But most of all, it taught me to always be fully myself, regardless of the label society has placed upon me.

Some of us are wondering the world, walking around aimlessly, just searching for something or someone to help heal the pain caused by those too weak minded to take off their masks. The cure to healing your bruised and beaten soul? Finding like-minded people and making them your tribe! Surround yourself with beautiful, free, authentic souls who’s hearts dance to the same rhythm as yours. Kick those evil, vile, liars out of your life and never let them exist inside your happy world ever again. You only have one life to get it right, might as well share it with those who uplift you, encourage you and loves who you really are. Life is too short to waste it being miserable over miserable people attempting to hide their obvious misery.

Choose happy. Choose love. Choose real.